Why Fangirl Editors Don’t Work & How to Get Honest Feedback on Your Writing

I was once in a writing class with an instructor who told us that workshops weren’t for giving compliments. “If you want someone to tell you your writing is good,” he said, “call your mom.”

At the time, I thought he was being harsh. But years later, as a more experienced author and editor, I’ve seen firsthand how right he was.

Writers crave affirmation, but too often, the only feedback they get is fangirling.

You know what I’m talking about—people who read your work and shower you with praise, telling you how amazing it is, how beautiful your voice is, how much potential you have, how any publisher who doesn’t snap up your book immediately is obviously a moron.

It feels good in the moment, but if you’re trying to finish your book, get published, or grow in your craft, it’s the worst kind of dead end.

Let’s unpack why “fangirl editing” doesn’t serve you—and what actually helps you get the honest feedback your writing deserves.

What Qualifies as Fangirl Feedback?

A “fangirl editor” (or fanboy, if you’d rather) is someone who gives feedback based entirely on enthusiasm and emotional reaction.

They might say things like . . .

“OMG I love this so much!”

“You’re such a great writer!”

“This is totally publishable!”

I’m not saying encouragement isn’t important. After all, we need to know what’s going well so we can keep doing that. But this kind of feedback lacks two essential qualities: specificity and actionability.

It doesn’t tell you why the writing is working or where it needs to improve. Instead, it keeps you emotionally invested in the idea that your writing is already done . . . even when it’s not.

Clients are usually shocked when I tell them that, in this respect, fangirl feedback is just as unhelpful as comments like, “This isn’t what I like to read,” or “This needs work.”

Why This Kind of Feedback Feels Good, But Leads Nowhere

Let’s be real: writing is hard. It’s vulnerable. It takes guts to hand someone your manuscript, your short story, or your first few pages and say, “What do you think?”

So, when someone responds with enthusiasm, we cling to it like a life raft.

But here’s the trap: when we get used to only hearing praise, we start fearing the truth. We don’t want to know if our pacing drags, if our characters are flat, or if our memoir is more therapeutic than literary.

We’d rather stay in the bubble of feel-good feedback.

But staying in that bubble doesn’t get your book written or published. It just keeps you stuck in First Draft Land and wondering why you’re not moving forward.

The Difference Between Encouragement and Real Editorial Feedback

This is the turning point for so many of the writers I work with: understanding that critique and encouragement are not opposites.

In fact, the most helpful feedback often is the most encouraging because it means the person reading your work cares enough to help you make it better.

Real editorial feedback might sound like:

·      “I love this character’s voice, but I’m struggling to connect with her motivation in this scene.”

·      “This paragraph has strong imagery, but the transition into it feels abrupt.”

·      “There’s a powerful story here. Let’s talk about how to shape it more effectively for a reader.”

Do you hear the difference? It’s still kind. It’s still supportive. But it offers clarity, insight, and a way forward.

That’s the kind of feedback that changes your writing life.

How to Get Honest Feedback on Your Writing

If you’ve been relying on fangirl editors or you’re stuck in a writing group that only says nice things, it’s time for a shift. But getting honest, useful feedback doesn’t mean bracing yourself for cruelty. It starts with being intentional about how you ask and who you ask.

Instead of the vague “Do you like it?”, ask your readers more targeted, specific questions. Try something like, “Where did you lose interest?” or “What part felt unclear or confusing?” These kinds of prompts lead people to think critically about your work, instead of just reacting emotionally.

It also matters who you’re asking. You need people who are honest, but not harsh. They should have some understanding of the writing process, preferably people who read in your genre or are writers themselves. Your ideal reader is someone who cares enough about your success to tell you the truth—with kindness.

Of course, you also have to prepare yourself to receive feedback. That can be the hardest part. Remind yourself that your writing is not your identity. Critique doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re engaging with the process. And the more you practice receiving it, the easier it gets.

A great editor isn’t just reading your words; they’re helping you shape the story only you can tell.

Need an Editor to Give You Honest, Balanced Feedback?

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re not just dabbling in writing. You’re serious about it. You’ve got a story that keeps whispering in your ear. A book you know you’re meant to finish. A message, memory, or idea that you believe could change people . . . if only you could get it right.

You don’t need another person to tell you how “talented” you are. You already know you have something. What you need now is someone who can meet you in the messy middle—someone who will help you untangle your manuscript, sharpen your voice, and bring clarity to the fog of revision.

That’s where I come in.

My editing services are built on a foundation of honest insight, creative partnership, and deep care for both your work and your journey as a writer.

I don’t just mark up your draft, send you a bill, and wish you luck. I walk with you through the process. I listen to your vision. I show you what’s working—and what’s not—with practical, actionable steps to take your manuscript to the next level.

If you’re stuck…

If you’re tired of half-finished drafts and vague feedback…

If you want to stop second-guessing every sentence and actually move forward…

Then it’s time to stop going it alone.

Click here to schedule a discovery call and find out how I can help you transform your writing without losing what makes your writing uniquely yours.